Wednesday, October 26, 2011

"Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head."

Sorry for another long absence.  I am still working out, I've just been a little preoccupied.  I couldn't tell you how much weight I've lost in the last couple of weeks because I haven't weighed myself.  I can say that my size 7-8 jeans are loose and I need to start thinking about purchasing size 5-6 (not something I ever thought I'd have to think about).

I've been toying with the idea of writing this post for a while, but I've held off for some reason.  The "funk" that I've been in lately is actually major depression, mild.   It's been my diagnosis for years and years.  It's honestly not something that I'm ashamed of, if it comes up in regular conversation I talk about it freely.  It's a part of my life.  I have been on medication, on and off for ten or eleven years.

I am very blessed in the fact that I've never really struggled with suicidal thoughts and I've never hurt myself because I've been depressed.  For me it is kind of a soul-sucking leech.  It brings with it a ridiculous amount of guilt.  I've become pretty good at hiding it (or so I'd like to think).  It is often manageable with medication, but this time it has been insanely persistent regardless of my current dosage of anti-depressants.  I see a psychiatrist and a counselor.  I try very hard to be as proactive as I can. 

A lot of people are probably wondering why I'm even addressing this.  To be honest, I think there are a lot of preconceived notions about depression and the people who deal with it.  On Pinterest, I saw a pin that said something to the affect of "If you're depressed, it's because you're living in the past."  That person obviously doesn't understand that major depression is actually a chemical imbalance.  It often has little to do with the past, even though past or present events can trigger dark days. 

All of this to say, I'm trying really hard to work through this valley and I promise that when I do, I will get back to more positive and hopefully encouraging posts.  Thanks for sticking with me!

More info on depression:


  1. Thanks for posting this Catherine. Depression is something I've dealt with for a long time and it has been kicking my butt lately too. It helps to know that someone else understands that it isn't something I've "allowed" into my attitude or something that is happening because I'm unhappy with my life. That certainly isn't true. There are so many misconceptions and it's good to know that someone gets it. I'm sorry that you too suffer from depression, it's an awful ailment and I wish more existed to aid in treating it. Hugs of understanding from me to you. :)

  2. Thank you, Lindee. I really appreciate the positive responses from this blog post. So many people suffer with depression, but they're afraid of talking about it because people might think that they're crazy or unbalanced. I'm sorry to hear than any one I know deals with depression. It is awful to feel so hopeless and sad. I hope that things get better for you. I am so grateful for your comment.